One Bad Hair Day (A While Back)

One Bad Hair Day (A While Back)
By Tommy Franks

At one time, I had hair…a lot of hair…Well, it’s been awhile, but I used to have dark brown hair just like Elvis Pressley. Well, maybe I am embellishing it a little bit. But I did carry a comb once…a big black nylon comb in my right back pocket!

Anyway, here’s the scoop: A few years ago on Valentine’s Day, I took a trip with someone special. On our return trip to Dulles Airport from London, UK, we were told that all flights in and out of Dulles Airport or anywhere on the East Coast…had been cancelled. I knew we were in trouble when we arrived at Heathrow Airport, London…and 4000 angry people were in line…kicking and yelling at each other…attempting to get a flight to the East Coast, USA.

Since we had British Airways tickets, we were met by a British Airways attendant who gave us a sheet of paper that basically inferred that we were on our own…and that they had no responsibility whatsoever to assist us. Being the good Floridian that I am, I asked the question… “Why?”

His response: “Sir, because there is a snowstorm on the East Coast…and we are not responsible for inclement weather!”

Through the mercy of a caring customer service person, we eventually got another ticket to Chicago, IL. We departed London for Chicago that afternoon. After the eight hour flight, we landed to find out that all flights to Washington DC had been cancelled due to snow. However, we would not be defeated in our plan of attack.

Even though snow was everywhere, we rented a car and drove until midnight…stayed the night in a “high priced” motel; however, they did provide us with a continental breakfast the next morning.

As we prepared for breakfast, I looked out the window only to find out that it had snowed again during the night. This was not good! This was in fact…bad! We finished our delicious continental breakfast (coffee and yogurt)…and started on our snowy way.

We drove all day long in snow, ice, and sleet…through Ohio, Pennsylvania, and Maryland. As we approached Washington DC, we saw thousands of stopped vehicles in front of us…Some were blowing their horns in disgust and hostility!

The line of congested traffic on Interstate 495 was at least 10 miles long. We were only 10 minutes away from Dulles Airport…where we had left my black Mercedes. This 10 minute trip took us over two hours to complete. Next hurdle: I was supposed to turn the rental car in with a full tank of fuel. I had to get off the interstate in order to accomplish this feat. Snow and ice were everywhere!

I finally made it to a service station. As I drove to the gas pump, I read a big, bright, fat, yellow sign that said, “No gas, no fuel…It’s snowing!” … I knew what Willie Nelson meant when he sang, “Back on the road again…I feel so tired and frustrated again…I want to pull out my hair again…if I only had some!”

Next, we arrived at the long term parking lot where I had parked my car. Fortunately, in the corner of my eye, I saw another service station. Unfortunately, they had no fuel either. I said to Karen, “Look, I’m going to go ahead and get my car from the parking lot. I should only be a few minutes. I will be right back.” Yeah…Hello!

First I had to locate my car. Snow was four to five feet high in some places! I looked. I saw. I found it. I walked up to my auto…only to find that it was almost completely covered with ice and snow. I couldn’t even get the door open. I started digging with my very bare, cold hands.

Within a few minutes, I managed to get the driver’s door open. I got in. I started the car. I got the heaters going. I put it in gear to go backwards. Nothing! I put it in gear to go forward. Nothing! Even though my tires were new, they were no match for the four feet of snow around and under my car. However, Tommy Franks does NOT give up! He is a survivor!

I flagged down a man driving a snow plough. We talked. We communicated. He ploughed the snow. Still nothing! He jury rigged an old rope…attached it to the car’s chassis…pulled it out of the frozen snow. I was so happy! I paid the man a big tip. He was then happy! What should have been a few minutes to get my car…turned out to be about 50 minutes! But we were making progress!

We returned the rental car…and were once again…on the road again; however, this time, in my beautiful black Benz. When we finally arrived back at my condo, I looked in the mirror and said to myself: “Self, you have had a bad hair day…today. You have endured… even without hair to keep your head warm. You have traveled many a mile. Cheers!